The Real Reason Why You Haven’t Healed Your Trauma/Depression/Heartbreak

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John E Goadby

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Huffpost Healthy Living

The prevailing psychological wisdom of our time tells you that your current dysfunctions are probably a result of your past experiences, e.g., your painful childhood, your stupid parents, your abusive first love, and the wars, famines, and hurricanes you were forced by fate to go through. If you’re metaphysically inclined, you may even believe that your present pain has its roots in a past life, a past past life, a past past past life. (By the way, after talking to many who claim to have recovered memories from past lives, I can assure you that nobody on earth has ever had a great life in the past. Since there’s nothing new under the Sun, it’s safe to assume that a great life will not exist in the future, either. So you can stop looking now.)

You were told that healing from past pains would get you happiness. But if you’re reading this, you probably have been on the “healing path” for a long time, under the assumption that once you heal your past, you’d finally find fulfillment and freedom. That was how I looked at my life, for a long time. I went from one healing modality to another, on a quest for the Holy Grail that would bestow bliss to eternity.

Such a quest is useful, until it is not. After years of professional counseling, shamanic sessions, cleansing retreats, and chocolate cake fixes, I realized that the healing journey simply would not end on its own. If you look for them, you can always find traumas in yourself, old and new, to be healed and cleansed. A completely healed human is a mythological construct. And the quest for healing can be a rat race that is easy to get on, but hard to step off.

 

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~ by desertrose on October 25, 2015.

5 Responses to “The Real Reason Why You Haven’t Healed Your Trauma/Depression/Heartbreak”

  1. I’ve found it liberating to accept that living is not about finally reaching a destination, and not to be delayed until some certain conditions are perfect. I’ve been learning to love what is right before me, and that is making a wonderful difference.
    Thank you for your reminders.
    Vincent

    • I am so happy to hear that , Vincent !

      So many live life focused on the goals two, four or five years in the future. It is good to have a goal and to wish to better ones life. However, when the now is put on hold until we accomplish what we want to see tomorrow, it is self defeating. One puts the present on hold planning for what is to be and miss life. There is nothing more sad than to look back on ones life and regret the life that slipped by us. I believe that we must find a balance between the here and now that we are and the there and future that we wish to be. Enjoy what there is and strive for better. In the acceptance and the understanding we find the healing and the happiness that we thought so elusive. I believe it is completely possible to lose our present selves in the search for our future selves.

      As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said , “Life is a journey, not a destination.”

      You have discovered the truth in that already , Vincent and I am so very happy for you!
      It has been a pleasure to be able to serve as a reminder of your wonderful discovery 🙂

      Thank you for stopping by to share your thoughts and your healing journey with us !

      Blessings to you .

  2. I never “sought” healing, I just opened up to it. As the process was delivered, I flowed with it. I was guided to some things and they did indeed help. I also had absolutely no draw to some things and honored that by not pushing something that had no draw.

    I AM healed. Yes, I am. Have I learned everything I can? No. Have I experienced all I can? No. Do I need to do what I call “release maintenance”? Yes.

    But am I healed? Yes!

    If you keep telling yourself that people can’t / don’t heal, you are telling yourself YOU can’t / don’t, since you have no influence over others’ lives, so you must be talking about yourself and your words are your own creations.

    Can people get carried away with / obsessed with healing? I suppose so. They’ve misused everything else there is to use, so why not that?! Some people manage to get away from mundane distractions only to then turn spirituality into the next distraction. They’ve used even healthy things in unhealthy ways.

    I am here to tell you though that people DO heal. I did. And I’m nobody.

    • I think you have misunderstood the intent of the author of this piece. I do not believe her intent is to say that one should not seek healing. But rather that one should not obsess with the process of healing , nor the search for the answers.
      In fact I believe it is her intent that one should allow the answers and the methods to come to one as one lives ones life to the fullest. Just as you have discovered and point out here in this paragraph,

      I never “sought” healing, I just opened up to it. As the process was delivered, I flowed with it. I was guided to some things and they did indeed help. I also had absolutely no draw to some things and honored that by not pushing something that had no draw.

      When she states that one cannot find healing , it is not meant in the literal sense. I believe she is stating that when one focuses strictly on the destination one seeks , in this case healing. One can lose sight of the ebb and flow of life around us. The events and nuances that life has to offer on a daily basis in so very many different forms. However, if we are obsessed and cannot see anything other than that which we are obsessed with, we miss it all. Why? Because we are not opened to it. Which you yourself touch upon in this paragraph,

      Can people get carried away with / obsessed with healing? I suppose so. They’ve misused everything else there is to use, so why not that?! Some people manage to get away from mundane distractions only to then turn spirituality into the next distraction. They’ve used even healthy things in unhealthy ways.

      Just as you were opened to that which flowed to you naturally as you needed it.
      I am truly glad that you found healing. But do not mistake the reason healing found you. It found you because you opened yourself to it rather than box yourself in with this discipline or that. You were mindful of what your consciousness had to say as to whether one thing or another was for you. You traveled with the flow not against it.

      You are not “Nobody”. You are “You”. You are special in your own uniqueness. In your search you have understood what it takes others perhaps decades to understand. Do not belittle your place in this universe for each and everyone of us has been brought here at this time for a very specific purpose. Not one being more important or superior to the other. We all have a role to play. Please remember that 🙂

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your insights, it is very much appreciated!

      Blessings of Love and Light to you !

      • Hallelujah to all you’ve said.

        I don’t play small! I move planets! Don’t get trumped up by me saying I’m nobody. I meant that I have no greater potential than anyone else and yet I healed.

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